Are you struggling with feelings of bitterness, or even revenge, towards loved ones who have hurt you? Would you like to be closer to them but you do not find a way?
With Christmas approaching, ‘forgiving’ seems to be an appropriate theme.
What does it imply to forgive someone? Is it a sign of strength or is it connected with some kind of meek attitude: OK for religious types, but not really helpful when it comes to living in the real world, where you need to speak up for yourself and take clear positions. Or do you not need to forgive those who have hurt you because deep down you know that you are better than them? You wouldn’t do such a thing, would you? Some people just happen to be more unaware, evil or simply stupid than you are.
As I understand and experience it, forgiving happens in the heart.
As such, the mind cannot quite grasp it, but it is able to read some signposts pointing the way which leads to that heart-space.
So, for logic’s sake, here are some ‘mechanics’ of forgiving.
Non-forgiving keeps you and the perpetrator (the one who did the thing that hurt you) separate. You are good, he or she is bad.
In the inner movement of forgiving, the separation drops. This means that you recognize that what you called evil, unaware or stupid is also in you. And that you forgive yourself for being that way. In other words, that you accept whatever is in you as part of you. Forgiving is a state where the games drop. It is not dependent on whether the other accepts being forgiven. They may never do. You become free of the story, of the emotional imprint of something that happened in the past. Moreover, accepting these parts in you brings your awareness to them. They can no longer influence you from an unseen, shadowy place.
And yes, this is helpful in the marketplace, where you do need to make a stand. It is even helpful in the same relationship where the hurt happened. Because you are more free, integrated and able to be present in the moment. And that is true power: mysterious, not always recognized by those around you, but certainly felt and perceived in a non-mental way.
In forgiving, we let go of our past and become open to new possibilities.
Gratefulness follows as a consequence.
Now, what can happen is that the mind says: ‘OK, I got this. Forgiving helps me to move on, I am going to do it now. Just give me the technique.’
Sorry mind, there is none. You will need to give up control here and let the heart do its magic. This is where a Human Design reading can help. By giving exactly the pointers that your type of mind can understand. Each Chart is unique, each human being has her or his own entries into the space of the heart.
To give you an example:
Gate 18, Healing what has been spoilt, in the Channel of Judgment, often has to do with forgiving and letting go of what happened in the past. The other end of that Channel is Gate 58, Joyous Life Energy, to which you get access when you have done the ‘work’ in Gate 18. Do you see the depths that Human Design contains? They continue to amaze me.
In becoming more conscious, we are not only making our own life more harmonious, we contribute something to the awareness of humanity as a whole. This too is charity, of a different kind.